Imagine that you are the only Black woman on your team at work, and that you’ve recently started bringing up concerns about microaggressions—from your supervisor getting your name (and only your name) wrong to more overt forms of bias such as only giving white employees time off. Now, imagine HR’s solution is to tell you, “We are moving you to a team of all women of color due to your difficult relationship with your supervisor.” 

It seems unbelievable, but that’s what happened to me at my last job, and unfortunately, acts of retaliation at work like this are all too common. One in four Black workers report being discriminated against at their place of employment, according to Gallup. Those rates are higher amongst young Black employees, and 75 percent of respondents said race felt like a factor in their experiences.

What’s more, of all the forms discrimination can take, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) finds that retaliation at work is the number one type.

Though common, retaliation at work isn’t always easy to prove

When I was told I was being transferred, I felt like I was in a movie, or an early 2000s reality TV show, and Ashton Kutcher was going to pop out at any moment to tell me I was being punk’d. It didn’t feel real, and at times, it still doesn’t.

“More often than not, retaliation is done through actions that aren't formally recorded, like texts, emails, voicemail, etc., or in-person, which can be hard to document” says Sophia Stephens, a paralegal in Washington state who works on employment and labor law-related cases. “There is no cut-and-dry approach to identifying the warning signs [of retaliation], let alone handling them and navigating a full-blown retaliation or discrimination scenario.” 

Retaliation isn’t often one major event, but rather a steady stream of situations that can leave you questioning your sanity. “It’s very typical for there to be dozens of interactions that are of the ‘death by a thousand paper cuts’ variety,” says Stephens. “They're not outright traumatic and terrible, but annoying and inconvenient enough to be bothersome, which causes people to question and wonder if the interaction is enough to raise concern about or if they'd be seen as the issue.”

As a result, she says people frequently come in to seek legal counsel saying that there’s been a history of interactions with the person, but that they didn't document them all because of that self-doubt.

When things started escalating at my office, I spent months going over every comment management made, every act of preferential treatment given to other employees, every time supervisors avoided me in the office, just trying to make sense of what was happening. I felt paranoid, anxious, and confused every day.

What retaliation at work can look like

According to the EEOC, experiencing any of the below behaviors from your boss could be considered retaliation, depending on the facts and circumstances.

1. You’re reprimanded or given a performance review that is lower than it should be.

2. You’re transferred to a less desirable position.

3. You experience verbal or physical abuse from your employer or management.

4. Someone threatens to make, or actually makes, reports to authorities, such as reporting immigration status or contacting the police.

5. You experience increased scrutiny.

6. False rumors are spread about you.

7. Your work is made more difficult.

What to do if you think you’re being retaliated against at work

The repercussions of being isolated my from my department, being moved to a different team, as well as an increased criticism of my work were more than just hating my job. Being retaliated against—and gaslit by being told this was all for my benefit—took an emotional and physical toll: I couldn’t sleep, I had migraines daily, I was always nauseous, I was losing my hair. I became suicidal.

Unfortunately, fear is a powerful motivator for not only remaining hush-hush over an unfair or illegal situation, but ensuring that any accusations stay in the dark, says Stephens, who also notes that the burden of proof in retaliation cases falls on the employee. “As the person accusing, you have to show that your actions led to someone in a position of power unfairly punishing you for them,” she says.

That burden, in my opinion, was too much to bare, because at the end of the day, all that mattered was who had the power and how they chose to wield it. What got me through the experience was trusting my gut and the support of friends who bared witness to the retaliation who were able to keep me grounded.

When I felt that I had exhausted all of my other avenues, I finally consulted a legal representative, which helped affirm my experiences and provide me with options moving forward. “If it comes to this, speaking with a lawyer that specializes in employment/labor law can be very helpful, even if you do not end up starting a case,” Stephens says. “Depending on your state, an experienced attorney can review the facts of your situation with you, let you know where your case stands, and how you can go about pursuing legal consequences.”

While I was eventually let go from the company, I knew that my career aspirations did not end there. I also knew that I had to use my experience to help others who may be going through something similar, and be the resource I wish I would have had.

Written by Dominique Norman