3 Black Female Founders on How to Be a True Ally
Beyond posting messages of solidarity on social media, true allyship means acknowledging your privilege, holding space for your Black colleagues, friends, and community, and striving to be actively anti-racist. “It’s about amplifying the voices that are most impacted,” activist Tamika D. Mallory recently told Vogue. “A good ally places themselves in between the system and those people the system is harming, using their privilege to allow the voices of the impacted folks to be heard and protected.”
In order to do just that, we passed the mic to three Black female founders who generously offered to share their thoughts on allyship with our community as part of our Ask an Expert Instagram Live series. Ahead, we’re sharing just a few of the many takeaways from our conversations with Jasmine Marie, the founder of Black Girls Breathing, Devi Brown, a wellness educator, energy healer, author, and the founder of Karma Bliss, and Nikia Phoenix, a self-love advocate and the creator of Black Girl Beautiful.
Scroll on to learn more about how you can show up for Black-owned small businesses, hold space for Black colleagues, friends, and communities, and approach allyship with heart, humility, and kindness, according to these founders.
If you missed any of these insightful conversations, you can watch them in full via our Create & Cultivate IGTV channel, here, here, and here.
How Allies Can Show Up for Black-Owned Small Businesses Right Now
Get Local
“The biggest point I want to make is get local. It just takes you opening your eyes a bit to identify those businesses that could use your support and impact your local economy.”
“If you Google African American festival in your city, I guarantee you that there are some bands that have been highlighted that have been doing working in your city and you may not have heard of them.”
“One way that I like to look for Black-owned brands for myself is the Nile List. It’s like a directory for Black-owned businesses. They’re currently building what would feel like a Google for you to search and support Black-owned businesses.”
Be Consistent
“It’s so important to keep it going. Keep your actions consistent. This is not just a one-off.”
“Black people are hundreds of years behind in terms of financial wealth, so it’s going to take more than just the month of June to make an impact. We need you to be consistent in your efforts and keep it going.”
“Go share that message with other people within your circle that are looking for ways they can be active with how they combat against overt and systematic racism.”
Commit to 360-Degree Advocacy
“Take a look from your seat of privilege—and the title or the job that you hold—and say, How can I further impact service-based Black-owned businesses or initiatives that could use my voice and use our corporate dollars?”
“If you are at a major corporation, lots of major corporations have what is called a supplier diversity team. This team’s job is to source Black-owned, minority-owned, and women-owned businesses to put them into the supply chain, so it’s not just the same network of people and agencies and businesses that are receiving support from corporate dollars. Get tapped into your supplier diversity team.”
“Maybe you’ve started [a business,] how diverse is your team? Is there a way for you to be very specific in seeking out talented Black professionals and freelancers who need a platform and opportunity to showcase their art and not do so for free? We know how Black culture has impacted mainstream culture, however, a lot of Black creatives are not being paid for their services at the rates that they should be.”
”If you are contracting Black-owned vendors, be more of an advocate. Look at the numbers and make sure you’re paying them the same amount as you would a white-owned agency. Are they selling themselves short? How can you show up for them? As an ally and industry insider, let them know they need to up their rates before getting more business or taking on more clients.”
If you missed our conversation with Jasmine Marie, the founder of Black Girls Breathing, you can watch it in full here.
How to Hold Space for Black Colleagues, Black Friends, and the Black Community
Make This a Journey
“This is a journey and you have now signed up to dedicate the rest of your existence to being the most expansive, elevated version of who you are to show up as your highest self to show up in wholeness and to actively serve the world, not just people who look like you.”
“It’s important that you realize that your own unlearning and your own path to expansion and enlightenment is going to be a journey. This is not something that you are going to understand by binge-watching every documentary about the Black experience or listening to every podcast, this is also going to be an excavation of self.”
“It is a journey for you to unlearn all the belief systems that we now as collective consciousness outgrown. All the belief systems that can no longer serve you because they were not equally serving everyone.”
Commit to Continued Education
“It is not a Black person’s job to explain the entirety of their experience—the entirety of their generational trauma—in a way that you understand so that their feelings can be validated. That is your journey. That is your homework. You do not need to add to the work or emotional processes of a Black person.”
“This is going to be a constant life’s education. It is not just a documentary you’re watching this weekend, it’s also really realizing that this is collectively our human story. So, what are the ways that you are going to elevate your education and knowledge and your heart in service to others and knowing other people’s experiences?”
Show Up in a Supportive Way
“For all of us, that’s going to look different. Really see what impact do you want to have on the Black community now that you're aware of the challenges that are faced, the privilege that you’ve lived, and the inequality that is a part of every day for people.”
“As you’re doing this great unlearn, you also have the opportunity to be invested in the Black community, in your human being brothers and sisters, in a way that can supersede just this dismantling that we’re doing now.”
“How can I use my unique gifts, my unique calling, to be of service not just to myself but all underserved communities? Where can I best be used? How can I really show up in a way that’s uniquely mine and in a way that best serves other people? Where exactly do you want to make a difference?”
If you missed our conversation with Devi Brown, a wellness educator, energy healer, author, and the founder of Karma Bliss, you can watch it in full here.
If you’re looking for ways to continue your education and this process of unlearning, we’ve put together a list of 11 Books to Continue Your Growth in Being Anti-Racist.
How to Be an Ally With Love and Kindness
Acknowledge Your Privilege
“Acknowledge that you have been able to move in and out of this world in ways that others have not. There are certain privileges that come with being a white woman. You are able to be ignorant to the truths that people of color experience every day. This is a hard fact.”
Listen to Your Heart
“Breathe into your heart and exhale through your heart. So often we are listening to try to formulate a response, to try to formulate a rebuttal, instead of genuinely acknowledging that the person in front of us is a human being acknowledging their humanity.”
“When we’re able to listen with our hearts, we’re listening, we’re feeling, and we’re seeing through those eyes of compassion. We’re not trying to be right, we’re listening, we’re seeing through those eyes of compassion. Listen with your heart.”
Be Humble
“As an ally, specifically an ally to people of color, you are not aware of the microaggressions and the prejudice, the systemic racism that people of color experience on a daily basis. You don’t experience that.”
“Be humble, hold your tongue, and don't try to whitesplain a person of color’s feelings and a person of color’s emotions.”
“You have to listen. You have to humble yourself to learn and realize that you don’t get kudos you don’t get any brownie points for being an ally.”
“People of color have been in this fight for a long time and so much of what we’ve been saying has been falling on deaf ears.”
“Be humble enough to silence yourself when a person of color is speaking and sharing how their feeling because their feelings are just as valid as your feelings.”
”Part of being humble means confronting the part of you that allows your ego and your privilege to speak instead of your heart.”
Have Grace
“Have grace for yourself in your quest to be a true ally. Take those Ls, take those losses, because those are ways for you to learn.”
“You don’t have to show up and be perfect. Practice is not about being perfect. It’s about learning. Be okay to take those Ls.”
“It’s okay to make mistakes—because guess what? When you make those mistakes, when you open yourself up, when you’re vulnerable, you open yourself up to the truth and the work that you need to do.”
“Have grace for yourself and have grace for the people that you are an ally to. The person that you are attempting to be an advocate and an ally to, they may not be able to vocalize how they’re feeling.”
Be a Helper
“We are always looking for the helpers. If you have acknowledged your privilege, you’re listening with your heart, you can be a helper by using your privilege for good.”
“Make sure that you are using your privilege to open doors for people of color, and when you open those doors for people of color, make sure that you are listening to them.”
“When you see that a person of color is not being treated fairly, speak up.”
“Being an ally means being able to acknowledge that maybe you haven't been doing enough and that you can do better.”
“Seat at the table, pass the mic. Make sure that I have a plate to eat off of and that that plate is full. You cannot say that you are giving people of color opportunities if you are not paying them accordingly.“
Check Yourself
“You can always take time to check yourself. Check how you’re feeling, check and see if your ego is speaking or if your heart is speaking.”
“Check yourself about your intentions. Before you post something, before you write something, before you react to someone, check yourself. Get in touch with your heart and how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way. Check yourself, it’s a saving grace.”
“Even though you may believe that you are one person, you can positively change your community, positively change your environment, positively change your world. You have power. You have so much power, so use that power for good and help change some of these racist systems.”
If you missed our conversation with Nikia Phoenix, a self-love advocate and the creator of Black Girl Beautiful, you can watch it in full here.
Editor’s note: The book recommendations Nikia Phoenix shares during this IG Live are, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Dr. Joy Degruy.