Poppy Jamie Ditched the "Disease to Please" for Imperfection—and She Finally Feels Whole
Perfection is overrated. Progress over perfection. We’re all familiar with these phrases, but does it stop us from trying to achieve it? We’ve all fallen victim to what Oprah calls the “disease to please” but the end goal should always be about being whole, not perfect, right?
Just ask Poppy Jamie. She spent four years tracking down scientists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and mindfulness experts to ask them questions she’d always sought answers to: Can we reduce stress? How can we manage health better? What do I need to know about my brain to live happier? What is anxiety? Is it even possible to change your brain? The answers she found were truly incredible.
“Yes, we all have a plastic brain that can change and our emotional fitness is just like physical fitness,” she tells us. “Repetition and dedication to daily check-ins are key.” So, the former television presenter and co-founder of the accessories brand, Pop & Suki turned her research into the wellbeing and mindfulness app, Happy Not Perfect. “The app takes neuroscience and puts it into a daily practice—the happiness work-out,” Jamie explains. “ Just eight simple exercises for the mind, packaged like a game helps you to make that morning mindset shift or provides an emotional processing moment through-out the day. The app then led to the launch of the Not Perfect podcast and an entire #NotPerfect movement (the hashtag now has over 700K posts).
In honor of International Women’s Day, we partnered with our friends at PAIGE to put the spotlight on five incredible women who are marching to the beat of their own drum and walking it forward with an outstretched hand bringing the rest of us along for the ride.
Read on to learn more about Jamie’s self-care journey, her top tips for combating stress in the moment, and how she’s helping people to change the way they look after their minds.
You launched the successful accessories line, Pop & Suki with Suki Waterhouse in 2015. Can you take us back to that "lightbulb" moment?
It really was a lightbulb moment. We were both lying there in bed as we were sharing a house at that point and suddenly decided we had to launch this accessories brand. It has been the most fun years building a fashion brand and turning a passion into a job. I have always been motivated by exercising creativity over just money and it’s the challenge of creativity that gets me up in the morning and want to work harder.
You have grown a hyper-connected community around this Happy Not Perfect movement. How you are helping people to change the way they look after their minds?
De-stigmatising mental health is a life-long mission and in order to create real change, every single human needs to participate. Together we can learn to be kinder to ourselves but also to each other. The community around HNP is just incredible. All of us are there because we believe looking after our minds is important and a life-long commitment. The results are phenomenal, some of the emails I've received have made me cry. Just helping people take four minutes out to think about what they are grateful for can make such a huge difference.
So much more needs to be done. We are only at the beginning of the mental health movement. It’s going to take a lot of conversations and learning about our brains for everyone to know it’s okay to feel all sorts of emotions and that no one is alone.
We live in a fast-paced always-on culture that can up the cortisol levels real quick. What are your top tips for combating stress in the moment?
Belly breathe. Place your hands on the belly in any hot stressful moment and think about the breath filling your belly as it expands and exhales, allowing the air to leave.
Take a walk. You can’t think your way out of problems, you have to move out of them! Shake the energy up and get that stress moving out rather than sitting down letting it fester.
Find perspective. Ask yourself, will I care about this in three minutes, three hours, three days, three months, or three years? Usually, you realize, you won’t care about the stressor and it allows you to remind yourself, this is not the end of the world.
How we appear on the outside can impact how we feel on the inside. As a fashion icon, we look to you for style advice so, what do you wear to feel confident?
Oh, I love dressing up. Honestly, clothes are a part of my daily ritual. Nothing gives me that extra burst of energy than a good outfit. I love wearing black heeled boots, a little mod dress or black jeans and a shirt. I’ve really been enjoying block colors and minimal dressing of late. Feeling good in what you’re wearing is the best start to your day.
How does clothing make you feel self-assured and ready to take on the world? Why?
A little heel or those jeans that fit just how you like them to just give me that boost of excitement. The reason why it never gets boring is that I remember what a privilege it is to dress up and wear something you like. I just feel really grateful that I get to wake up and decide what I’ll wear, not all women have had or have that chance.
What does International Women’s Day mean to you?
International women’s day means a celebration of what it means to be a woman! For most of the history of mankind, we’ve been suppressed, controlled and asked to step aside and now, we are being given our rightful place back. We have a chance to strive for equality.
The women that have fought for this should be continually honored because, without them, I wouldn’t have been allowed to start up two companies or sit in board rooms or strive to achieve my dreams. Furthermore, the work of women around the world is truly phenomenal and using a day just to reflect and thank you sisters for their work in helping the world is brilliant.
You seem so bold and self-assured. What advice do you have for others who want to summon that courage too?
Lol, I do? Well, Instagram does a good job of curating a good impression! I struggle just as much as the next person but since I've been working in mental health and I have definitely learned tools to help me turn self-doubt into self-trust. A good little trick I ask myself when my chattering mind starts to tell me self critical thoughts is the question, What is my intention and why not me? Checking my intention is in the right place and then challenging myself as to why I shouldn’t go for something or don’t deserve something helps me keep my negative, self-sabotaging mind in check!
How do you shake off the fear and doubt to pursue your innovation/dream?
Human beings only have two emotions—fear and love. Whenever you are next worrying about something, take a moment to think about how you can lean into love over the fearful voice. Because when we are in love, we look forward to creating a better future because we know we can. The fear voice is from the past, usually telling you lies. Taking pauses throughout the day to ask myself, am I working from a place of love or fear helps me to shake off the doubt and move into my dreams.
What’s a piece of advice you’d give to women starting out in your field?
Make sure you are looking after yourself first. A burnt-out stressed out founder will not come up with the best ideas. So yes, starting a company is tough but a lot easier when you are not compromising on activities that make you feel good like working-out, sleeping or eating well. P.S. late-night emails are never a good idea.
What is the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make professionally?
Every time I say “no” to something. I am such a “yes” person and being encouraged to be that way “just say yes.” When I say “no,” it really is hard. But “no’s” are not really “no’s”, they actually are the “yes” to focus.
What traits do you need to succeed as an entrepreneur or founder in the competitive start-up environment?
Resilience. Things get tough but you’re tougher. Keep going and don’t let anyone knock you off your path for more than 24 hours. It’s fine to be wiped down, it happens but take a break, and put your running shoes back on and let your passion be your fuel.
Clever listening. There are so many people who can give you advice and will probably give a lot of unsolicited, too. Listen, learn but don’t take all of it on board, no one knows your business better than you.
The filtered world of social media often hides a lot of the hard work and hustle behind-the-scenes—What’s a lesson we can all learn from your mistake/s?
Jesus this interview would be days long. I have made so, so, so, so, so, so many.
Internal conflict: From day one make sure you interview everyone who wants to be a part of your company. Every investor needs to be on your vibe to every employee. Ensure you share the same values because what might seem good day one, might not be on day 180 when things start getting tough and you need people who really share your values to help you through it.
I burnt out badly so my next piece of advice would be: Listen to your body. When you are exhausted, don’t just keep on working to people please (like me). Take a break because burn out will force you to take a much longer one later on.
I isolated myself at times because I was feeling super overwhelmed and that only hurt me further so, find a tribe of people who are on the same path. These don’t need to be your best friends but women or men who are in a similar boat to you and will hear your venting and share theirs. Sharing is caring!
You can’t be it if you can’t see it. Why are representation and visibility so important to you?
It is everything. I want every woman to grow up seeing themselves in places they can dream to be in. You have to name it, to claim it as Oprah says and we need more women running the world to inspire the next generation.
If there was one woman you could power brunch with, who would it be?
Oprah. She is my queen. I watch, listen, and read about her all day long. The Church of Oprah is my temple. She has inspired me since I could speak.