How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs, According to a Career and Life Coach

Limiting beliefs hold us back from achieving our goals, claiming our unique voice, and putting forth our genius, which the world needs from us right now and always.

As a coach for emerging and established female entrepreneurs, I see time and again just how much limiting beliefs hold women back. A leadership coach who feels as though she isn’t experienced enough to increase her prices. A designer who believes she’s too sensitive to conquer entrepreneurship. A new educator who’s afraid to invest in her development since her dream job is “just a side hustle.” 

The presence of these beliefs is even more significant in periods of challenge and growth. When we don’t identify and unpack our limiting beliefs, we can’t show up as the leaders we are capable of being. They can get in the way of your cultivating the career and life of your dreams and can have a negative impact on executive skills like creativity.

So, I’m going to break down what limiting beliefs are, how they show up, and practices you can explore to change your narrative. Because, girl, if there was ever a time to release those beliefs and become the powerful woman you’re meant to be, it’s now.

What is a limiting belief? 

First, let’s define it. A limiting belief is something we believe to be true about ourselves that keeps us from full self-expression, growth, and transformation, or taking action on the things that matter to us.

These beliefs are usually formed from trauma or micro-trauma we’ve experienced and are reinforced via feedback loops throughout our lives. An original experience shapes the belief, then we integrate the belief into our sense of self and find evidence to support it, which breeds more of the original feeling; often guilt, sadness, inadequacy, embarrassment, lack, fear, or anger.

Our false beliefs unconsciously inform our thoughts, behaviors, and choices. This year we’ve experienced uncertainty and unrest, and our false beliefs have been exposed. When so many things are changing and challenging us, we can gravitate towards our limiting beliefs because they present a false sense of safety. 

What do limiting beliefs look like? 

Every person’s limiting beliefs are different. We each have a core belief we hold about ourselves that, once we can identify it, is evident in most major life events. 

Here are some examples you may relate to. 

1. Filters. 

An example of a filter is the belief: “This is hard.” We all see through our own unique lens and perspective. If your lens is “this is hard,” everything is automatically going to seem hard because you’ve already decided it is so.

2. Negative self-talk.

An example of negative self-talk is the belief: “This is hard because I’m not smart.” What we believe to be true about ourselves is how we show up in the world, which causes others to believe it too. When we make circumstantial events about us, our identity becomes wrapped up in things we can’t control.

3. The stories we tell ourselves.

An example of a story is: “XYZ people don’t like me because I’m not smart enough.”A story is what happens when we don’t address our limiting beliefs. We allow them to inform us of our experience, usually replacing facts or evidence if we don’t identify and integrate them.

Your core false belief is deeply rooted; it’s been with you for most of your life. So it can take some deep thinking, journaling, and maybe even counseling to unearth it. And it’s not necessarily enjoyable work. The thing I always tell people before I lead them through guided exercises to uncover their false belief is this: 

You’ll know you’ve landed on the belief when it feels like you just got punched in the chest. When you don’t want to say out loud or share it with your peers. You might even be embarrassed that you feel that way about yourself.

I shared at the beginning of this piece that limiting beliefs are something we all experience, and I want to normalize that. So, here is my core false belief: I believe that I don’t belong because I’m not a good person.

Just because you believe it, doesn’t make it true. However, you do have to acknowledge it. And if you can do the work to overcome it, it’s actually a key to unlocking your leadership, sharing your voice, and using your authenticity to make a difference in your career.

How to tackle your limiting belief

Unpacking your limiting beliefs is lifelong work. Here are the steps we like to follow to cultivate that work daily:

Lack of capability isn't the source of what holds people back from creating the career they dream of; it’s more often their limiting belief. If you believe you're not the smartest person for the job, you don’t have the experience required to tackle the project, you can’t make a living doing what you love—you won't be able to choose the alternative. 

Now, more than ever, is the perfect time to use your false belief to step into your leadership and cause change.

By doing this work, you’re not only creating the space to show up as your fullest self, but you’re also leveraging your experiences to hold space for others to become themselves too, to use their voices, and to align their actions with what matters. 

About the Author: Pia Beck is a life and business coach known for turning pain points into action items. As the CEO of Curate Well Co., coined “the queen of implementation,” her expertise is in connecting the big picture vision with the nitty-gritty details in order to create an instinctual strategy, systems, and steps. She helps her clients and community organize, implement, and execute. 

At Curate Well Co., she combines purpose and process to help emerging and established entrepreneurs start and scale savvy, streamlined, sensational businesses, make an impact, and launch a life they love and leave a legacy. At Curate Well Co., we believe in a curated life on purpose through sharing your unique gifts. Curate Well Co. has been featured in Thrive Global, Darling, Buzzfeed, Medium, and more, and has collaborated with brands like Bumble, Havenly, Lululemon, and The Riveter.

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Helen Yin on Taking Asian Tea Culture From the Teahouse to the Bathhouse

Learning to embrace and highlight your culture as a business owner is a deeply personal and beautiful choice—but it takes courage. As the daughter of immigrant parents (my mother is from Jamaica), I’ve seen how assimilating into white American culture can be a form of protection for many people of color, and this expands into entrepreneurship as well. 

For this reason, some founders may feel the need to hide their culture when it comes to their businesses because of the once true idea that people only go with what they know or, in this case, purchase items and patronize businesses that are familiar to them. 

Times are changing, though, and people from nations around the world are making the choice to share aspects of their culture through entrepreneurship, believing that the right community will find them. There’s beauty, joy, knowledge, and power in remembering where you came from and sharing with others, which is exactly what Helen Yin did to grow Inoki Bathhouse, a company that makes tea baths curated around the experience of bathing in different natural environs. For example, Yin says her Mountain Fog Bathhouse is based on what bathing in soft, white fog on a mountain covered by wildflowers would smell like.

Like so many first-time entrepreneurs, Yin never planned on becoming a business owner. Her mother owned a convenience store in Canada when she was growing up, and the long hours (15-plus, seven days a week), lack of established family time, and constant self-sacrificing she witnessed her mother do for the sake of her business gave Yin a distaste for being her own boss. 

“I watched her work tirelessly for 25 years running that convenience store,” says Yin. “She rarely shut the store down—even when she was sick—she never prioritized her well-being; she only worked. I, unfortunately, adopted a similar work style when I graduated [from college and got a job]. There would be weeks where I didn’t even step outside. This became amplified in the pandemic when I never had a reason to leave my house or stop working. This was when I started experiencing insomnia and bouts of depression.”

During those dark times, Yin says she found herself holding onto a specific memory of her grandfather to get through.

“When I was at my lowest emotional and mental state, I decided to take a bath for the first time in weeks,” she says. “I decided to boil a large pot of fragrant jasmine pearls tea and pour it in my bath because it reminded me of my childhood with my grandpa who constantly drank this tea. It was completely different from any bath experience I’ve ever had. The bath didn’t smell artificial like a bath bomb or soap-based product, the sweet scent of tea unfolded over time—it was more and more enjoyable the longer I stayed—and my skin felt soft and nourished after. Best of all, it brought me a sense of peace I hadn’t had in a long time.” 

It was Yin’s first time bathing in tea, but she says she knew she didn’t want it to be her last. “After searching the web and not being able to find any tea-based bath products, I decided at that moment I wanted to start a company bringing imaginative bathhouse experiences to people using intentional ingredients,” she says. 

The concept behind Inoki Bathhouse

“I would have never thought to put tea in my bath if I hadn’t grown up surrounded by the sweet, fragrant scent of tea because of my grandfather,” Yin says. “He loved tea and helped me appreciate it as a young girl. It wasn’t until I was older, after he passed away, that I was able to understand and explore China’s tea culture.” 

During her early 20s, Yin took solo backpacking trips to bathhouses and teahouses across Asia (Japan, China, Korea, Malaysia, Thailand, and Vietnam, specifically). Though she didn’t realize it at the time, those sojourns would become the building blocks for what would eventually become her business concept. 

Inoki Bathhouse is a celebration of bath cultures across the world, starting with China’s medicinal herbal baths to Japan’s onsens, Korea’s jjimjilbangs, Morroco’s hammams, and many more. In China, medicinal baths started as an ancient tradition for the wealthy and royalty. They were used for two main purposes: To target specific needs, such as colds, fevers, skin infections, appetite issues, beauty treatment, etc., as well as for deep relaxation. 

The philosophy was that the herbal blend could be absorbed through the individual’s skin and respiratory system. Both systems worked together to activate the healing properties inside the body and the individual would be left feeling healthier and more rested. 

Bridging one generation to the next

Sometimes, when the appreciation of someone’s culture meets their professional aspirations, their business can become a love letter to a specific person (or group of people). 

For Helen, Inoki Bathhouse is a love letter to her future children. “It’s to remind them to put their mental well-being first,” she says. “I hope to show them how beautiful it is to slow down and enjoy life, to savor the moments, and to take time for ourselves. This is my mission with Inoki Bathhouse.”

— Shayna Condé

How To Find a Niche in a Crowded Market With Dr. Roshini Raj, Founder of TULA Skincare

In a world where there seems to be a new skin-care brand launching every week (there are approximately 4,200 cosmetic and beauty companies in the U.S. alone), it can be difficult to stand out. Yet, by following her gut, literally, Roshini Raj, MD, founder of TULA Skincare, managed to break through.

Before beginning TULA, Dr. Raj started her career as a gastroenterologist, a physician dedicated to the digestive system, and it was her passion for probiotics and the microbiome that led her to explore the connection between gut and skin health. While studying the evolution of research in her field, Dr. Raj noticed that her patients who were taking probiotics not only found improvements in their digestion, but also in their skin.

At the time she launched TULA in 2014 with formulas that utilized probiotics to help balance the skin's microbiome and promote a healthy skin barrier using, no one was talking about the connection between gut health and the skin, and research was limited. So Dr. Raj felt she’d found a niche within her wheelhouse that would allow her to align her expertise with potential whitespace. And her bet paid off big time because the global probiotics market, valued at $50.6B in 2020, is now expected to grow at a rate of 7.9 percent from 2021 to 2028.

So how can others find a niche in a crowded market like skin care? On the most recent episode of WorkParty, Dr. Raj advises taking a step back and examining what sets you apart.

"You have to really think about what you want to bring to the table that's different,” she says. “What are you uniquely qualified to do? For me, it was my medical background and my passion for probiotics and the microbiome.”

Dr. Raj also emphasizes the importance of understanding your target market. "You have to know your audience,” she says. “What do they want? What are they missing? What are they looking for that they can't find? That's really how you can start to carve out a niche."

Tune in to this week's episode of WorkParty to learn more about Dr. Raj's probiotic product formulation process, TULA's mission to inspire confidence, and the ways in which gut health impacts our overall well-being. 

RESOURCES

To connect with Dr. Roshini Raj click here
To follow along with TULA click here
To connect with Jaclyn Johnson click here
To follow along with Create & Cultivate click here
To submit your questions call the WorkParty Hotline: 1-(833)-57-PARTY (577-2789)

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Mailbag: Entrepreneur Hot Takes With Jaclyn Johnson

How To Craft a Profitable Pitch With Paulana Lamonier, Founder of Black People Will Swim

5 Rules Every New Founder Should Follow, According to the Co-Founders of Obé

There are no hard-and-fast rules when it comes to entrepreneurship. But there are industry pros who’ve learned a thing or two about what not to do in business, including Mark Mullett and Ashley Mills, co-founders behind the on-demand fitness platform obé. 

At Create & Cultivate’s Wellness Means Business summit a few weeks ago, Mullett and Mills, who earned $15 million in their series A funding and have captured the hearts of countless fitness fanatics, listed out a few learning lessons about finding an idea, surrounding yourself with the right people, and staying inspired as your business grows. So if you’re looking for a few “don’ts” to keep in your back pocket as you navigate new entrepreneurship, keep scrolling. 

1. Don’t fool yourself

Before committing to a business, Mills and Mullett want you to ask yourself: Is it a hobby, a trend, or a passion? Here’s an example. Maybe you’re big on knitting and love celery juice. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to start a juice-drinking knitting business. A passion, Mullett says, is something that keeps you up at night and something you’re uniquely qualified to create.

“If it's a passion, that's going to help you out when you're working 25 hours a day, eight days a week, 366 days a year,” says Mullett. “If it's a passion, that will carry us through. Fitness, connection, community, and working with each other have been a passion of ours. And that's carried us through a lot of high highs and a lot of low lows over five years.” So ask yourself: What am I truly passionate about?

2. Don’t be a copycat

Referencing a book called Blue Ocean Strategy by Renée Mauborgne and W. Chan Kim, Mills says that saturated markets are like shark-infested waters. The trick is to find the patch of blue ocean that’s shark-free and made for your talents. “Once you do that, you can identify your audience and a different strategy so [that]  you can attract other folks—and you can probably do it more efficiently if you continue to scale your business,” says Mills. 

For example, she says, Obé’s “ blue ocean” was creating an online fitness platform that emulated the fun, community-oriented feeling of hitting a boutique fitness class in a major city. So think about what your business’ “blue ocean” looks like—and steer your ship there. 

3. Don’t journey alone

“It is so important to find yourself a partner, a co-founder, an investor, an advisor—someone who you can trust and who share the same vision as you,” says Mullett. “For Ashley and I, being together in this journey has been probably the most rewarding part. In the low moments, you want to lift each other up, and in the high moments, you want to hug and celebrate and press forward.” Even if you’re currently acting as CEO, CMO, and CFO of your company, make a point of finding a community that lifts you up. 

4. Don’t fall in love with everyone you meet

So you finally have the funds to hire some help. Maybe it’s a copywriter. A graphic designer. A CMO. Whatever the position is, Mills says to take your sweet time finding someone who’s the right fit. (No matter how much you needed help, like, yesterday.) 

“We love people; we love to meet people. But what you have to really understand is: What is the role that you're hiring this person to do? What is the skill set and background that they need to do it?” says Mills. Think critically about your ideal candidate for this position, and don’t stop interviewing until you find them. 

5. Don’t psych yourself out

“You’re working on a business where you’re the only employee; you're white-knuckling it half the time. We all know that feeling of being on a roller coaster and feeling like you might be crashing. But here's what we learned: A timeout is stronger than you think,” says Mullett. All founders have doubts, but the key—according to Mills and Mullett—is to take a break when they arise. Then, get back to work. 

By Kells McPhillips

Identifying Burnout Symptoms With 20 Entrepreneurs Who Have Tackled It

It’s easy to think that when you’re doing what you love, you’ll never be burned out, but the opposite is often true. Burnout is a common reality among the most creative and ambitious, and sometimes it can be hard to even notice the burnout symptoms.

If it feels like you're currently teetering on the edge of burnout, that alone is a sign to make a change. Take heart that you’re not alone and there are effective ways to tackle it. Here's 20 professional women who've also found themselves in the midst of burnout—and developed successful strategies to find their way to the other side. Their experiences will give you inspiration and helpful tips to conquer burnout when it inevitably arises.

Mita Carriman

Founder and CEO of Adventurely, a travel club and meetup app connecting digital nomads and their new local communities. 

My experience: Managing burnout has become second nature for me ever since I became an entrepreneur. Digital nomadism has been my biggest entrepreneurial hack for managing burnout while equally boosting work productivity. When you're living and working remotely temporarily in a beautiful or interesting new destination, the incentive to maximize your work time to take more advantage of free time to explore and get in a little adventure goes up exponentially.

My advice: If you're able to explore the digital nomad lifestyle, even for just a short stint, I'd highly recommend it. More countries around the world are opening their doors to this type of travel with various visas, and companies such as mine are making it super easy to jumpstart your journey in the lifestyle with advice, support, and community from day one.

Meredith Noble

Co-Founder of Learn Grant Writing, helping those looking for a flexible, meaningful career become paid grant writers with no prior experience. 

My experience: I lived through a gas leak explosion in remote Alaska, and it was the ultimate wake-up call that a few weeks “off” would not be enough to reverse the effects of burnout. My No. 1 strategy for regaining my health has been working no more than 24 hours a week. This is possible because of my newfound obsession with maximizing deep and connected work so that my time is spent on a few, right activities. 

My advice: I encourage you to read or listen to Deep Work by Cal Newport for tactical advice on how to minimize context switching and distractions. This book inspired my team to take "Deep Work Wednesdays" meaning no meetings, Slack, or email. It works wonderfully!

Annelise Hillmann

Co-Founder and CEO of FRONTMAN, the Gen Z acne care brand for men.

My experience: I struggled most with burnout during the Covid-19 lockdown when I had nothing stopping me from working every waking minute. Two big ways I prevent burnout are small daily practices and passion projects. I make sure to leave time for my self-care practices every day like yoga and relaxation, even when I'm tempted to skip them. I also find ways to make my work exciting by seeking sources of inspiration and fueling my creativity.

My advice: Start small. Make one change that brings you joy in your day. Over time you can continue adding moments of self-care to balance out work stressors.

Nancy Soni

Founder and CEO of PathMatch, an early-career navigation platform that matches Gen Z to modern careers, skills, and employers so they can build "hireability.”

My experience: I've been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue three times over the past 10 years as an entrepreneur and working mom, so I've had to learn how to manage stress and burnout effectively. My No. 1 strategy is to prioritize my health and wellness first. I wake up early to meditate and work out almost every day of the week. Meditation and movement are my surefire ways of keeping stress in check.

My advice: Schedule time off mentally and physically every week. For me, Friday and Saturday nights are when I completely check out of work and focus on my friends, family, and myself. Entrepreneurs tend to feel like they have to "be on" around the clock. Every person has their point of diminishing returns where their brain just doesn't work as effectively. Figure out when you get the best out of yourself and then make time to rest and recharge. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Ashley K. Stoyanov Ojeda

Business Fairy Godmother at Your Business Hada Madrina, business development and communications strategist for startups. 

My experience: Unfortunately I've burned myself out many times since I started my entrepreneurial journey 10 years ago. This was due to inexperience, not wanting to ask for help, and feeling the pressures of hustle culture to work all the time. Tackling burnout requires knowing how to see the signs of burnout and having the strength to pull yourself out of it. When we feel this way, we need to get out of our day-to-day routine, even if it's for short walks throughout the day, finding a new creative outlet, and adjusting our schedule to allow for rest. 

My advice: Know the signs of how burnout feels for you! 

Yewande Faloyin

Founder and CEO of OTITỌ Executive Leadership Coaching, showing ambitious entrepreneurial leaders how to confidently accelerate into more impactful leadership positions.

My experience: I burned out twice in 18 months at McKinsey, even though at the time I was ticking off my "Burnout Prevention" boxes—I was sleeping six to seven hours a night, doing my daily yoga practice, and taking "breaks" for meals. However, I was clearly burned out—physically exhausted, emotionally edgy, and with no personal life. This burnout experience at McKinsey, though extra intense, was just an extreme version of the working longer-harder-faster career treadmill I'd be on my whole life. My No. 1 strategy that finally got me out of burnout and off the treadmill once and for all was dealing with the underlying mindset that kept me going back to that pattern. I shifted my thinking to focus on impact, rather than effort and started using well-being activities as performance enhancers, instead of just for burnout recovery or prevention. The result? I work fewer hours, yet create the greatest impact, success, fulfillment, and satisfaction than I ever have in my life. 

My advice: Get external support. Burnout is one of the most intense types of stressors we experience. When we are under stress, it's hard to see beyond the stressor. Getting support from a coach or counselor can go a long way to getting you out of burnout once and for all. 

Sydney Sherman de Arenas

CEO of Montie & Joie, a brand that focuses on eradicating poverty amongst women in developing economies. 

My experience: During the pandemic, I had a business partner who was not using money ethically and we had to shut down the business. We had investors, so I was talking to attorneys regularly, was pregnant, and had to get a job to pay the bills. I was working insane hours until I learned to get to know what I needed, set alarms to take breaks so that I would get out of my workaholic mentality, and finally set boundaries with everyone I was working with. 

My advice: There are early signs of burnout for each of us. If we can catch them sooner rather than later, burnout is easier to recover from. The most important thing we can do is get to know ourselves and our limits when times are good so that we have stop guards in place when times get harder.

Stephanie Kwong

Co-Founder of Rapid Rewire Method, teaching people a set of tools to permanently clear inner barriers and create instant relief around any mental and emotional blocks.

My experience: Burnout for me has always been a point at which I feel no desire or passion to continue working. For a generator like myself, it is brutal, because I enter into states of self-flagellation. The key to staying safe from burnout has been doing the introspective work of finding out which of my patterns and belief systems were pushing me to sacrifice rest and self-care in the name of constant doing. When I rewrote those debilitating stories and beliefs and gave myself the space to slow down, take care of myself, and finish a day even if I haven’t completed all of my tasks, burnout ceased to become a threat. My narrative around self-worth is no longer tied to constant production and achievement, so I no longer feel the pressure to work until I’ve hit the burnout wall.

My advice: If you’re experiencing burnout, become familiar with your symptoms so you can recognize if it’s going to happen again. Prioritize finding out what is at the root of your burnout so you can prevent yourself from coming back to that place. We live in a system that glorifies the hustle, but keep in mind that there’s a difference between being productive and staying busy—conscious rest is productive. As you’re checking off boxes on your to-do list, make sure that one of them is self-care! 

Danielle Polini

UX Research and Strategy Consultant at Danielle Polini, working with early growth-stage startups to understand where to focus and how to win with their customers.

My experience: I've struggled with burnout on and off in my career. What I've come to find is that it is always linked to how I spend my mornings. I’m more energized, make better decisions, and exercise my boundaries with ease when I prioritize what’s most important to me in the mornings. I don’t always do the same thing in the morning but I know I’ll do whatever feels good to me first, before diving into the distractions on my phone or work emails.

My advice: Track your energy and see what that shows you about how to structure your day and what’s important to you. While tracking what energized and what drained me over a week, I was able to see where I was getting burned out and that my morning time was to be protected. 

Rebekah A Miel

Founder of Miel Design Studio, a full-service marketing and graphic design studio helping you amplify your good work through graphic design, digital marketing, communications, and more.

My experience: The most obvious sign of burnout for me is when I start to feel overwhelmed by my workload. When I feel caught up in the chaos and like I'm always putting out fires, I take a step back and block out time to reflect on why this is happening. I either work through a series of steps on my own or with a trusted coach or mentor. It is so worth it to have an outside perspective. 

My advice: It's really difficult to avoid burnout as a founder, but you can make a plan for it. Know what burnout looks like for you so that you can adjust before it goes too far and be kind to yourself while you make those adjustments. 

Meghan Hardy

Founder of Happening Ideas, helping build and grow female-focused direct-to-consumer brands through digital marketing and CX strategy.

My experience: Both personally and professionally, I was working on big, ambiguous projects where it was hard to see day-to-day progress. I'd step away from one only to dive into another, and I was mentally exhausted. Finding a couple of low-stakes hobbies where I could see clear, incremental progress and feel a sense of accomplishment was a game-changer for me.

My advice: Try to identify the factors that are contributing to your burnout. You may not always be able to immediately change things, so think creatively about other ways to address your needs and experiment to find what works for you.

Abigail A. Mlinar Burns

Head of Sales at MakeLoveNotPorn, the world's first user-generated, human-centered #socialsex video sharing platform.

My experience: I've sought out intense and fulfilling work over and again—from producing massive festivals to running political campaigns to growing early-stage tech startups. For me, fulfilling work often led to a prioritization problem—the doing eclipsed the being—which resulted in burnout. I've found that burnout is ultimately a spiritual crisis that requires one to slow down and rebalance themself. Slowing down was never sexy to me until I first experienced a self-reiki treatment. Since I've had my regular reiki practice, I've been healthier in body, mind, and heart, and more consistent with my work.

My advice: Find your personal practice that keeps you being you. It can't be prescribed—so try things until you find what helps you feel balanced and grounded.

Nivi Achanta

Founder and CEO of Soapbox Project, a community that makes it easy for busy people to get involved in social and environmental justice.

My experience: Both in my former job as a management consultant at Accenture and my current job as a startup founder, I’ve experienced periods of intense burnout. For me, that’s manifested as a complete lack of motivation combined with unmanageable depression. Setting up a self-care system that goes beyond bath bombs and candles has been game-changing. One component of my self-care system that has transformed my life is decoupling “hours worked” with “productivity.” I now split each workday into three 90-minute work blocks with 30-minute rest breaks in between. I’m more productive than ever and I have energy left over at the end of each day to do things that truly make me happy.

My advice: Build a solid values-aligned community that will be your support system through highs and lows. Spending all my time—yes, work and leisure—around people who care about the well-being of each other and the planet we live on means that even on my worst days, I can turn to friends who keep me grounded and never lose sight of what truly matters.

Aura Telman

Founder of Thirteen Thrive, a people and culture development firm designing meaningful employee experiences for the modern workplace.

My experience: Burnout for me developed so slowly that I didn't even know it was burnout until I came face-to-face with it in February 2022. My anxiety was at an all-time high, I couldn't sleep, and my motivation and creativity were gone. My No. 1 strategy for managing it was developing a healthy post-workday routine, which included strict work cut-off times, exercising, meditation, and low social media usage. In addition to my new routine, I also found it tremendously helpful to talk to a therapist, as well as my partner, about what I was experiencing. 

My advice: Do not isolate yourself and know you're not alone in this. I found during my burnout period there was so much shame around how I got to that point and why I didn't see the signals my body was sending me. However you're feeling at this point, however, burned out you are, it's valid and you can heal from it.  

Nichole Pitts

Founder and CEO of Ethintegrity LLC, a boutique consulting firm focusing on a culture-based approach to diversity, equity, inclusion, and ethics and compliance. 

My experience: Like a lot of people, I ended up becoming used to working through burnout until I hit a wall where the brain fog forced me to take a step back. I ended up taking a month off to rest and recharge, which meant absolutely no work. I read books, sat by the pool, enjoyed family and friends, and did whatever I felt like for the day. This mental break allowed my brain to rest and I came back more creative and focused. I now block out a week each quarter and a month each summer as my "R&R time" to prevent total burnout in the future.

My advice: Listen to your body and don't try to be a hero. Sometimes we often overstretch ourselves to show our value at the expense of our well-being. Give yourself some grace, be proactive with blocking out time off on your calendar, and take the time to recharge when you need it. Work will always be there.

Rachel Kanarowski

Founder of Year of Living Better, helping healthcare, tech, and professional service organizations reduce their exposure to the risk associated with workforce burnout.

My experience: The neuroscience research is clear: our brains aren't designed to thrive during long periods of uncertainty or isolation. So for me, burnout struck in November 2020. Suddenly life felt bleak, even little tasks took effort, and my go-to self-care tools seemed hollow. I cleared my calendar, reached out to my therapist and close friends, and told myself I was in a shame-free zone for as long as I needed. My brain and body needed time to reconnect to safety and comfort. I'd like to say this meant I picked up yoga and new soup recipes but, honestly, for me that meant snacks for dinner, bingeable TV, and a lot of rest. I had to trust that eventually I would feel like myself again and several weeks later, I did.

My advice: Our brain shuts off access to creative thought when we're under high stress. So make a proactive plan for how to respond to early signals of burnout. It turns out that self-care activities are only effective when they match our nervous system state, so take 30 minutes to ask yourself, "When I feel angry or anxious, what self-care works for me? What about when I feel sad or disconnected?" and have those two lists ready when you need them.

KK Hart

CEO of Hart Marketing & Communications, an innovative, boutique company that develops, designs, and executes marketing, sales, and creative services in partnership with clients. 

My experience: In my line of work, I support, coach, and advise many highly accomplished business owners and leaders in executive roles. The unfortunate experience of burnout seems to come up more and more in recent years than ever before. I believe as a business coach it is the single greatest threat to productivity and business outcomes currently in the marketplace—regardless of niche. Yes, even in light of economic predictions of recession. My No. 1 strategy for tackling and managing burnout has to do with defining a tactical plan for balance—which is not always one size fits all.  

My advice: To tackle burnout, we essentially have to work on effectively preventing it. That means being highly intentional and strategic about time away, life planning, as well as being as efficient as possible professionally and personally. That doesn’t always mean doing the most. Some of my best practices include scheduling time for self-care just as you would any other thing you schedule professionally. That may also mean using your calendar as a way to plan time for relaxation, meditation, family events, screen breaks—literally anything that helps you to find value in the day beyond just work performance.

Gabrielle Thomas

Founder of GT Consulting, a practicing management company for healers and high achievers in the health and wellness space.

My experience: I temporarily shut down for spiritual maintenance. For me, that meant radical change; a self-created monastery where I donated 80 percent of everything I owned. I stopped consuming all media so I could get familiar with the voice inside of me and started healing and rebuilding from there. 

My advice: My prevention plan includes making decisions and leading with my wellness values, as well as paying attention to early warning signs. 

Leah Feuer

Business and Life Coach at Leah Feuer, a professional mind organizer who helps creative entrepreneurs lead intentional lives and businesses. 

My experience: After 10 years working in tech and startups, I went from being inspired by my work to being consumed by it. The best thing I ever did for burnout was taking a sabbatical to rest, play, and reflect. I traveled, cooked, and drew, but I also dug deep into cultural norms and personal history with labor, productivity, exploitation, and value. It led me to creative, somatic, and trauma-informed practices that have been transformational. 

My advice: Consider energy awareness as another type of self-awareness and develop it. Schedule a few minutes throughout the day to check in on how energized you are and do an energy audit by listing out all of the tasks, activities, people/animals, situations, and environments you encounter in a typical day, week, or month. Note what’s most and least energizing. How can you do more of what’s energizing and reduce the least energizing items? 

Rachel Supalla

CEO of Discovery Kidzone, an award-winning multi-site childcare program that makes the magic of play a priority for children ages 0-12 and their teachers.

My experience: Burnout is a very real and scary virus that can affect anyone if we allow it. I have been in childcare my entire adult life and I have experienced burnout as a teacher and as a leader. As someone who strives to be the best at everything, it can come at a high cost and ultimately affect my family, my work, and myself. My No. 1 strategy for managing burnout is playing, making myself recognize the symptoms of burnout, and turning to something playful to reset my brain. 

My advice: One of the best ways to be intentional in your day and recognize signs of burnout is by daily journaling. If you are keeping track of your mind and your emotions, you can spot triggers quicker and see that it is a pattern rather than a sentence. Documenting good, bad, and ugly will help you navigate the suck when it happens much quicker. 

About the author: Gesche Haas is the Founder/CEO of Dreamers & Doers, a private collective that amplifies the entrepreneurial pursuits of extraordinary women through thought leadership opportunities, authentic connection, and access. Gesche's been featured on Bloomberg TV, CNNMoney, The New York Times, Huffington Post, Business Insider, Forbes, Fortune Magazine, Refinery29, Broadly/Vice, and other major media outlets, as well as at the United Nations, where she spoke during the sixtieth session of the Commission on the Status of Women.

This Female Founder Is Disrupting The $600B Menopause Market With Her Femme Care Product

After spending my career building brands and products that solve pain points for women in specific life stages–from marriage to motherhood–menopause was the next frontier. At least that’s what I discovered after talking with hundreds of women about their experiences. As I leaned in, I realized this was so much bigger than a product or service. While younger women were discussing periods and sex, infertility, pregnancy, and postpartum, all formerly “taboo” topics, no one was discussing the needs women were experiencing as they got older. 

Making the conversation culturally relevant is a big step toward stripping away the stigma, and this was an opportunity to introduce a cross-generational conversation around what it means to be a woman, at every stage of life. This was a chance to educate women about the years after postpartum, the experiences leading up to menopause, and the often overlooked time after menopause (good-bye periods)!

Just like every experience we go through as a woman, I believe we need to be able to speak about them openly and honestly, so that we can help normalize the topics. Creating a platform for women to do that is my mission with Hazel-luxe, innovative femme care for the ever-evolving woman. Here’s the steps I’ve taken with Hazel to disrupt the menopause market and create a product for the femme care industry.

1. Start with her story, never assume.

Instead of making assumptions about who our audience was based on stereotypes, my co-founder and I began by talking with her (the women). These women shared their life stories, pain points, brands they loved, brands they hated, things they were comfortable talking about, and things they thought no one else was experiencing. 

We learned that menopause represents 34 symptoms women can have from age 40-60, and several of those symptoms, like leaks, can continue into their 70s, 80s, and 90s. So we continued digging deeper and found that 1 in 3 women overall experience leakage, and that increases to 1 in 2 women over 50. 

2. Innovate and go against the status quo.

Through talking we also learned that products on the market just weren’t cutting it for these women. Women were limited to only using pads, liners, and adult diapers, or avoiding the aisle altogether (We can’t blame them!). They were constantly self-conscious. For example, walking in a plastic, bulky diaper wasn’t ideal at the office. Or how about having pads stuck to the side of your leg during HIIT class. Some women would rather quit! 

We knew they deserved better, so we asked women how we could make a better product. The bar was low because all they wanted was underwear. Not just any underwear but a chic brief they could wear under their leggings, undetected. Bonus if it included a control top and was super absorbent. 

We set out to do just that. We learned the global incontinence market is valued at $13B, and is the  fastest-growing category in personal care. There are only two legacy brands that control 100% of the market, but supply chains and manufacturing are based on their baby diaper categories. That’s why there’s been almost no innovation, and no wonder 77% of women hate the existing products on the shelves. 

To introduce a better product, we had to rethink everything! Not only the actual underwear but the manufacturing process. So we brought together material scientists and fashion designers, and spent two years developing new materials and technologies to create the High & Dry Brief – a super chic, disposable brief for leaks that absorbs up to 1.5 cups of liquid (that’s a bladder full). 

3. Elevate the category by creating a brand and product that resonates.

Despite women over 50 controlling 70% of disposable income, less than 5% of total marketing dollars are directed to this demographic. It’s not surprising then that 89% of women say they feel invisible when they turn 50. 

To build a brand and product that this category of women like, we involved them every step of the way. For us, that meant building Hazel alongside real women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s. We formed a customer advisory board of 25 women and connected with hundreds more through the process. We conducted interviews, surveys, and focus groups, and shared our brand visuals, language, packaging, prototypes, and product designs to get feedback. We listened and we iterated.

We learned they wanted a fashion-forward brand that didn’t make them feel like something was wrong with them. And when it came to the product, we had them test it out by wearing the briefs while in spin class, at work meetings, playing tennis, running errands, and going about their everyday activities. We made adjustments to the fit, absorbent core, and overall look and feel until we got them just right. We also made them size inclusive as 40% of the market is a size XL or larger.

4. Break taboos and stereotypes

I want women to know the power of embracing everything that comes with being a woman. When we do that, we’re making aging aspirational. As women talk publicly about their periods and sexual wellness, infertility and postpartum experiences, and now menopause (and beyond!), we’re creating conversations around women’s health and experiences at every age. Through storytelling and representation, we’re showing women of all ages (and society) what it means to be an ever-evolving woman, and that they are anything but invisible. Best of all, we’re removing the stigma by taking this category out of the shadows and changing the narrative.

About the author: Aubrey Hubbell is the co-founder and Chief Design Officer of Hazel, a luxe, innovative femme care brand for the ever-evolving woman. Hazel empowers women with thoughtful, groundbreaking products – starting with the High & Dry Brief, a disposable brief for leaks. Aubrey is passionate about building brands and products that solve pain points for women in specific life stages – from marriage to motherhood to menopause and beyond. She received her B.F.A. in Digital Design from the University of Colorado in Denver. And studied Scandinavian design in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Turning Grief Into Purpose With Aaliyah In Action Founder Elizabeth O'Donnell

“I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat.” Those were the words I heard on November 28, 2020, at just between 31 and 32 weeks pregnant, and after what I was continuously told was a “textbook” pregnancy. Nothing can ever prepare you to hear that as an expectant parent, someone who is so excited to soon meet their child. That day was the start of my life changing completely, and turning grief into purpose was what helped me push forward.

Aaliyah Denise arrived into this world looking like any other baby that was just delivered, perfect and with a mass of curly black hair. We were given no reason for her passing except being told by staff that “sometimes babies just die.” These words are heard too often for families in The United States and I didn’t realize this until I experienced it for myself. To be exact, about 23,000 families experience a stillbirth a year. The truth is, the truth isn’t being spoken about. Those stillbirth numbers are pretty shocking, right?

I can’t tell you what else was happening that day in November, to the day I left the hospital the afternoon of December 1. What I do remember was being immediately thrown into a public battle with my employer about paid family leave, and their nonexistent definition of “birth of a child.” 

The law, at that time, did not explicitly state that paid family leave did not include the healing of a woman’s body after birth. My then employer made a choice to read the law as if it was for bonding only. I refused to accept that my employer could create the definition of “birth of a child” when there was no clear definition, and when other city agencies chose to provide the leave after stillbirth cases like mine.

I fought back and it went as far as making it on the national news after an Instagram photo of me & Aaliyah went viral. This led the DC Council to pass an Emergency Bereavement Bill, granting parents of stillbirth 10 days paid leave. Which, for many not in this position may sound like a win. However, my argument was never about time to grieve the death of my daughter. It's always been about the time it takes a woman’s body to heal after birth, whether or not the birth is live.

Winning that battle wasn’t enough as that wouldn’t bring Aaliyah back. Waking up every day and grieving her death was my norm. I decided to join Facebook groups, specifically for mothers who have experienced loss, and that allowed me to hear people's stories and the horror in this country as it relates to the treatment of birthing people after stillbirth. Whether it’s hospitals with staff that are not adequately trained to deal with loss, the misunderstanding others seem to have of “yes, I still delivered my baby,” or the differences in family and cultural understandings after a loss like this, it’s overall tough. It’s hard to manage the outside world when on the inside you feel like giving up. 

I knew I needed to do something for the mothers I connected with, and also to create a strong legacy for my Aaliyah. Turning grief into purpose, Aaliyah in Action was born.

From my experience, tangible bereavement support was minimal or nonexistent. Some hospitals, if you’re lucky, provide you with a memory box for your baby. We love to talk about “self-care” in society, yet I found very little of it in this pregnancy and infant loss space. I decided to take all of the parenting I was saving up, and pour it into Aaliyah in Action. 

Our nonprofit supports women, birthing people, and families after they have experienced perinatal, neonatal, or infant loss, by providing self-care packages and support books that’ll help them start their grief journey. The packages are distributed to hospitals and those who request them, to provide immediate, tangible, and bereavement support. A box includes small items such as fuzzy socks, aromatherapy shower steamers, and candles. For what I call a “griefy” day, this is a small gesture to make one comfortable during their stay in the hospital, post birth. Packages also come with a support book for the birthing person, and support books for partners and living children if appropriate.

Pregnancy and infant loss can make you feel so alone. But the reality is you’re far from alone. My love for Aaliyah and the passion behind this organization will elevate Aaliyah in Action to be a standard bereavement response after pregnancy or infant loss. Through continued hospital partnerships nationwide, I hope to reach as many women and birthing people as I can-the immediate response is key when starting the grief journey.

Aaliyah in Action is also supporting small, local, women and black-owned businesses. We are proud to purchase items and support books directly from the vendors. Not only are we proud to help families in need, but we are able to help small businesses too.    

If we haven’t experienced it ourselves, we all know someone who has experienced the trauma of a pregnancy or infant loss. I see the work that Aaliyah is doing every single day in the emails I receive, phone calls, DM connections, and relationships I’ve been making since becoming an advocate. Our goal as an organization has always been to connect on a deeper level with those we provide for, and those who support our mission.

About the Author: Elizabeth O’Donnell, or Aaliyah’s Mom as she prefers, is the Founder & CEO of the nonprofit Aaliyah in Action. She is a fierce stillbirth advocate helping people navigate loss through Aaliyah in Action, and working toward ending preventable stillbirth with PUSH for Empowered Pregnancy as their Co-Director of Communications.

Porn: How this Brand is Putting Women on Top

Ladies, are you ready to take your sexual journey into your own hands? No pun intended! Ethical porn may just be what you need to build confidence in your sexual wellness endeavors.

Sexual wellness and porn, you ask? Yes, porn! As with any taboo subject, there are many misconceptions around the word “porn” alone. There’s a negative stigma that floats around the idea of watching porn, and when you look into what the mainstream industry is consistently producing, those thoughts are often validated. However 90% of people watch porn, and porn was ranked the #1 resource to learn about sex, yet 60% of women remain dissatisfied with their sex lives. This means one thing: people are watching porn but it’s not helping them have great sex. Porn can be more than fantasy, but also a tool to learn from. That’s where afterglow wants to step in.

afterglow’s mission is simple: to help more people have great sex. Founder and CEO Lilly Sparks built the membership-based community and sexual educational website to merge porn and sexual wellness. Afterglow hosts a content library of videos, exercises, and articles that guide users into deeper intimacy with themselves or their partners. Sparks set out to create porn that showcases the sex she really wants to have. Which is hot, realistic and relatable. 

✨ Exclusive! Activate a free 7-day trial membership to afterglow with code XOCREATE ✨

Sexual wellness is the fastest growing sector in the wellness category. Statista estimates the market size of the sexual wellness market to reach $37.2 billion dollars by 2023. “Watching porn is highly connected to self-love and orgasms, which have been proven to be good for our physical & mental health and to even make us better partners,” Sparks shares. But lack of information might just be the biggest barrier between people and their sexual wellness. 

Women have been taught that the pursuit and exploration of pleasure is lewd.  Certified sex coach Gigi Engle shares that the disconnect sits with society’s majority attitude towards human sexuality. We all have it, but there’s often nowhere to turn for proper education. We work with what we have access to, which is porn. That said, “we have to have conversations that speak to our ability to center safety and pleasure; and normalizing sex work as a consumer-driven industry where neither consumer nor provider should hold shame,” licensed clinical Psychotherapist and performer Jet Setting Jasmine chimes in. 

Your relationship with porn is yours, but the first step of working toward self love is to learn about your body and understand what makes you feel good.  Which is why afterglow’s mission goes beyond producing porn— they’ve built an incredible online universe where erotic films are made by women, for everyone's enjoyment. As afterglow puts it, “where experiencing guided masturbations and learning partner exercises are as normal as reading the morning paper.”

Their content stands out because it shows the reality of having sex. “[On afterglow] Watching porn can be a great way to explore fantasies, learn about what turns us on, and prioritizes our pleasure. It can even make us better partners, depending on how we consume it,” they encourage. 

In order to do this though, Lilly and her team still have to face the challenges of running a porn company head on. As a disruptive brand builder, she’s helping shift the adult media paradigm by breaking down the unfair and taboo stigma and working through censorship (ever see the 🌽emoji on social media?). 

“The porn industry has more female executives running the show than Fortune 500 companies do. The adult industry has seen a huge shift in the past 20 years with many old industry vets retiring or selling their companies and being replaced by young up-and-comers — many of whom are women. There’s Bree Mills, the Chief Creative Officer at AdultTime, Erika Lust, a pioneer of feminist porn, and Kelly Holland at Penthouse Global Media. There’s Shine Louise Houston at PinkLabel.tv,” Sparks adds. afterglow is following the lead with their mission to create a space that is both positive adult media and contributes to sexual wellness. 

Convinced to ditch mainstream for content that’s made just for you? Sign up now for afterglow’s guided masturbations, partner exercises, and even behind-the-scenes content. You pay for what you want to watch and cater the content to your desires. Creating an account is easy as 1, 2, 3, with monthly fees at levels that work best for you. Content creators to the site also get a free month to make sure it is a space they feel comfortable contributing to. As for you, if you’re ready to log on, cozy up to an exciting evening of putting your wants and needs first. It’s afterglow’s hope that you’ll feel more confident in telling your partners what you want and need—and of course, loving yourself. 

Candice Kumai Has a Genius Strategy for Managing Her Inbox (Seriously, We're Stealing This)

Welcome to our series A Day in the Life where we ask women we admire to share the daily minutiae of their professional lives, from the morning rituals that set them up for success to their evening wind-down routines. In this edition, we’re chatting with multi-hyphenate entrepreneur, journalist, author, podcast host, producer, director, and model Candice Kumai. Scroll on to find out how she gets it all done, including her genius strategy for managing her inbox and her delicious go-to lunch on a busy day (a.k.a. every day).

You're a journalist and six-time bestselling author who has been called "the golden girl of wellness" by Elle. How were you first drawn to wellness and what inspired you to pursue this path?

While walking through Union Square at 26, a friend in New York once said to me, “I don't think you chose this job, I think it chose you.” I come from a lineage of Japanese impressionist and tapestry artists on my mother’s side. My grandparents escaped the second atomic bomb in Kyushu by random chance during World War II. On my father’s side, my grandfather was a POW. While serving in Poland he was captured by the Russians, and he escaped death off a moving train on the other side of the world, roughly at the same time. If I’m carrying their legacy of survival, as one of the last and youngest members on each side of the family, I ought to serve them well. Each of our family members and their lineage lasts within us, and our family’s past shapes our present-day choices, our outlook on life and the opportunities that appear.  

I had always felt that my calling was to be of great service to others and to help the only way I knew how. Wellness and communication were my strongest suits all the way through college, culinary school, and while writing at the top magazines in NY, penning multiple books with doctors, nutritionists and journalists, and through the insurmountable amount of struggle I have faced in my own career as a minority female. I suppose wellness, and the way I communicate it through different mediums (podcast, shows, books, news, magazines, journals, TikTok, Instagram, newsletters), is a cover-up to all of my own pain, and perhaps my lineage’s pain. Wellness is how I can communicate relief, grief, and support to others who also may need a little inspiration or comfort from a very real and relatable standpoint. Again, probably not a choice, rather a deep-rooted calling. 

You're also the host of the podcast "Wabi Sabi," where you talk about all things wellness. What inspired you to launch this podcast, and what do you hope people take away from it?

When I wrote “Kintsugi Wellness,” my sixth book on Japanese wellness, people didn’t understand it. It was 2018 and nobody in my space had introduced this lens of Japanese wellness to the masses yet. I didn’t get booked on all the shows I normally did with my other books because it was such a “foreign concept” compared to the basic clean green eats books I usually wrote. Soon, I thought, I better explain what this book is about through a different medium: a podcast. By sheer luck, the smart ones got it. It clicked for many and the hashtags #goldenrepair and #kintsugi are TikTok faves seven years after I wrote “Kintsugi Wellness.”

The podcast “Wabi Sabi” is a love letter to every girl (and some wild men!) out there. If you need a pick-me-up, don't grab the wine. Instead, listen to the podcast and go for a run. I speak from my mixed, minority female, with immigrant parents background on business, love, relationships, spirituality, mental health, sex, and wellness as told through my experience with managing emotions and boundaries in my F-ed up life from NY to Tokyo, LA and beyond. 

The “Wabi Sabi” podcast is free of ads, and I pay out-of-pocket to put it up myself simply to help others. It is public service journalism at its finest. It gets thousands of downloads each week and has 700+ five-star reviews. I could use much more help on it, so feel free to email me anytime at info@CandiceKumai.com.

Lastly, you ask “what do I want you to take away from it?” I have cheered on my many colleagues who have made it right beside me. I think what I want you to take away from the podcast is that I, too, belong here even if I never wanted to become “famous,” and if the public heard my story, they may discover a fresh, perfectly ripe, and unique bridge to culture, wellness, and spirituality they have been searching for. It's not the same, dated gross cup of coffee every basic person drinks, it's a Japanese-American bowl of fresh matcha. 

What advice would you give to someone who wants to take actionable steps toward taking ownership of their wellness and leading a healthier lifestyle?

Baby steps, be gentle, but take action. Do these three things: Stop drinking sugar, stop eating out, and stop trashing the planet with at-home packaged meals or meal kits. 

"Wellness is how I can communicate relief, grief, and support to others who also may need a little inspiration or comfort."

Image: Courtesy of Candice Kumai

Now, let’s talk about your workday routine! First, are you a night owl or a morning person? When do you do your most important work and why?

I am a morning person. I am obsessed with the sunrise and meditating with matcha for 30-60 minutes each morning. My best work always takes place between 6:30/7 am to 10 am, typically because there are fewer distractions.

What time does your alarm go off, and what’s the first thing you do upon waking?

I get to bed by 8 pm and wind down or read, no alarm unless I have an early am call time to shoot. My phone sleeps away from me. I wake at sunrise and I put on a cozy or sexy robe (depending on the feeling) while I boil water for matcha.  

What does your morning, pre-work routine look like?

Boil water, make matcha, go outside on the patio, watch the sunrise. Then meditate for 30-60 minutes, undistracted on pillows. I feed Sisi, my chunky tuxedo cat, check emails (I open the best ones first), and don’t touch my phone for at least the first two hours of the morning. 

Mark Twain said, “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” What’s the first thing you do when you get to your desk?

I stay as organized on email as possible and send out emails that work for my business first. I’ve had to step back from helping everyone else and slowly learn to help myself first, for the first time in my career. 

What are you working on this week?

To put things into perspective, I run one production company, one content-creation company, and one Japanese-American start-up. I still model into my late thirties and I still write every single book, recipe, and shoot, write, develop, direct, and produce all of my own work. 

This week, I worked on three budget Excel sheets (we call them line sheets) for upcoming shoots. I’ve been planning out 2022, working on a new project for Shiseido, working on scheduled posts for Kora Organics, scheduling a shoot for Porsche and Goop, working on car selections, makes, models, red cams, drones, scouting shoot locations, interviewing crew, working on production schedules, crewing up/hiring and post-production deliverables. Organizing footage, contracts, editing tape, music selections, hitting deadlines, and making clients happy. 

In terms of production, we shot Thursday, Friday, and Sunday for 12 hours each day. I worked the front and back of the camera. Sunday I was booked to cover the Goop 2021 In Health Summit and booked to shoot separately with a Porsche Macan for five days. I covered and shot the event from 8 am to 2 pm at the Porsche track. Then, went home, changed, prepped, and drove downtown to shoot late into the night with the car in DTLA and then returned the car by 8 pm (hence the 12 hour days).

I’m also writing my seventh book with Audible, and I commit to writing in the early mornings from 630 am to 8 am and Saturday or Sunday mornings with few distractions. I love my books so much. Each book I’ve written takes years to finish and I'm hoping, one day, someone will notice. 

In terms of video content, I shoot and edit videos each day with my team and we curate highly stylized and integrity-based content that is useful and looks stunning. We keep all footage organized on hard drives and Dropbox.

Then there are the weekly essentials. Calls are organized on my Google calendar. We have a team call most mornings, followed by Zoom calls with new business development/clients, my legal council, and agents. I draft a new newsletter each Saturday, work on TheMatchaShoppe.com orders and record a new “Wabi Sabi” podcast each Sunday or Monday night. The podcast drops on Tuesday mornings all for free. Roughly 90% of my work is unpaid.

I also make time for IRL get-togethers each week. I have scheduled meet-ups organized on my calendar. For example, this week, I attended a Sculpt Society event to support my girlfriends Megan and Kelly, went to an Alo Yoga party with my friend Rosie, and went to the food bank to volunteer on Saturday for three hours at the local church. I talk to my besties from junior high and one from college (they make me happy!), I work out for 50 minutes daily (I think I said this 3x, I’m obsessed). 

Lastly, the boring essentials. I comb through pitches and proposals from clients, publicists, ad agencies, and my agents each day. I check accounting items like bank statements, payroll, tax forms, work closely on bookkeeping with my CPA, and I pay bills and taxes on time. I keep my office organized with wardrobe, props, lighting, camera equipment, files, art, and work-related materials. I try my best to upkeep my websites, images, social, writing, and résumé.

Image: Courtesy of Candice Kumai

What’s been the most rewarding part of running your business? The most challenging?

The most rewarding: Helping others, being of great use to others, giving back all that I am able, creating jobs for hundreds of crew and staff in the US. Mentoring young women on how to run multiple creative businesses in different sectors, production, creative content, media, and wellness. Reading letters, emails, and DMs of thanks and gratitude, the iTunes reviews on my podcast are known to make me cry. 

Most challenging: Outdated work models, working with a**holes, having a very dated, unstable playing field, discrimination, racism, restricting contracts, stale/old production, flaky people, non-communicators, unprofessional entitled individuals, those who culturally appropriate Japanese culture (educate yourselves). Mostly, I am working through my own challenges daily, as I am most certainly not perfect.  

Do you ever reach inbox zero? How do you handle the constant influx of inquiries writers are so familiar with?

I use four separate email accounts, and they are color-coded. I like to keep organized this way.

I get spammed with non-stop PR pitches on email. I block unsolicited emails and I set big boundaries with texts, DM, emails, etc. Being available to everyone all the time is not my thing anymore. I return emails to work colleagues within 15 minutes of receiving them during work hours (8 am to 6 pm), and I write back to those who bring value. 

My info email account is an open space where readers/listeners can write. The love letters are deep and passionate, and I often cry when reading them. I read them aloud on my podcast at times, with permission.

What is your go-to work lunch?

Matcha. Miso avocado toast. Lots of water with greens powder. 

What advice do you have for balancing the minutiae of day-to-day tasks with big-picture planning?

When you run your own business(es), others have to remember you are the only person who will keep that company afloat. Your work schedule begins from the moment you open your eyes until you close your eyes at the end of the day. Period. You work on weekends, you work on vacay, you work on long flights. 

I let go of friends who I felt deeply judged me; it is ok to do so. I let go of people who thought my social media was my real life and they never asked me how I was doing in person. If you need to do this yourself, allow yourself the gift. Suffering comes when we hold on to things that are no longer meant for us.  

If we are a reflection of the five closest people to us, I stick to the wonderful, beautiful, and real friends who are with me when times get very dark. The friends who are warm, loving, compassionate, hilarious, weird, and keep me smiling. I hope I can do the same for them. 

Volunteering at my local church food bank for a few hours each weekend has been my saving grace. The investment in giving to others has been wildly helpful to my health. I highly recommend volunteering at least once a week and learn how to serve others with nothing in return.

Image: Courtesy of Candice Kumai

What are some work habits that help you stay healthy, productive, and on track to reach your goals?

I work out for my mental health at least five days a week and meditate for at least 20 minutes a day; it makes a difference. I also set boundaries. I stay away from insubordinate or hard-to-work-with individuals. I choose to hire those who are a pleasure to work with and only the best at what they do. When anyone I hire begins to complain, I don't hire them again. I rehire those who work with integrity and a smile; teamwork makes the dream work.

Any favorite apps you use regularly?

I try to minimize all app usage. I am not a fan of electronic devices. I’ll recommend my podcast “Wabi Sabi.” It's free and it helps others to learn you are never alone. Otherwise, my advice is to read a physical book, go for a hike in the woods, a swim, or go for a surf. Apps and the phone are too much for your beautiful brain. 

What are you reading, watching, and/or listening to right now to help you wind down at the end of the day?

“Born a Crime” by Trevor Noah is one of the best books I’ve read in my life. I am reading it again because it's hard to find a good book like that these days. I use a salt lamp at night, I use a noise machine, and I sleep with crystals. My bedroom is my sanctuary and sleep is my favorite part of the day. Invest in a quality mattress, new pillows, and fabulous sheets!

What’s your “optimal” number of sleep hours?

Eight to nine hours  

What’s the most rewarding part of your day?

Great question! And yet it is so hard for me to answer.

Strong Work Relationships: Recently, I listened to a voice note from my DP (director of photography) in New York, Carlos. There are a few like him on my team Christina S., James H., Robert R. and they've worked with me for a decade, some longer. I feel so lucky to have them in my life to remind me the work we do is profoundly helpful, beautiful, and useful.

Pets: Being with my cat Sisi, who is now 19, is extremely rewarding. I only have a few more years with her. When you have a pet, there is a time when it will all end. It is profoundly sad, but true. It is the pathos of life. We call this “mono no aware” in Japanese. 

Valuable Time: All of our time here is limited and a gift. I chose to spend it much more wisely than I once did, especially with the jobs I take, the books I write, and the people I choose to give time to.

The Girls & Flowers: Working with girls who don’t ask for a paycheck or a handout. Jacqueline, Raiany, Cecelia, Julianne—these are a few who enjoy helping the creative side of my business and, for their helping hands and heart, I am grateful. Mentoring young girls on the job is also extremely rewarding, similar to when I volunteer with those who cannot give back to me at the food bank. We hand flowers to the individuals we provide for at the food bank, and, watching their reaction, their eyes, as I reach over to hand them some flowers unexpectedly, each reaction is different and uniquely special. This little moment with a sparkle in their eyes is truly the greatest gift and I look forward to it each week.

Featured image: Kevin Kim