Photo: Smith House Photo
You worked hard to get this job. You scored a meeting, nailed the interview, and landed yourself in a seat you've been dreaming about since graduation. But then something horrible happened: you realized that the inner workings of the company didn't line up with your expectations. Or you've encountered a workplace foe. Or maybe you and your boss, not matter how well you initially hit it off, are forever at odds.
The problem with dream jobs turning sour is that we tend to hold on to them because of how sought-after the positions are. But surely you've heard the saying one man's trash is another's treasure. This job might be the bees knees for someone else and the wrong hive for you. However, before you bounce, ask and answer these six questions honestly.
Are Your Expectations Too High?
The small prob with "dream" anything, is that there's always an underside. The dream hangover, if you will. No job is perfect, and if the expectation was that it would be, you need to check your battery and your priorities.
No job is brunch and selfies and fashion! all the time, and if you were expecting a front-row seat to fun and fancy-freebies, remember that late nights, tough moments, doing it wrong and getting called out for it, are all part of the dream.
Are You Part of the Problem?
This is hard for most people to answer, because it's impossible to see the tornado's destruction when you're swirling around inside of it. But if you and a co-worker are really butting heads and leaving a trail, paper or otherwise, of destruction in your wake, there's a good chance it's not only on her. Sit yourself down and give yourself a proper pep talk about relationships in the workplace, and your hand in the issue.
If you are truly attempting to make an impossible situation work, and it's really not panning out (and driving you to tears on the way home) it might be time to walk away.
Were You Hand Held at Your Past Job?
Maybe you've been thrown in with the sharks and you weren't ready for it. Dream jobs are typically highly competitive, hard knock environments, and you need to be able to hold your own—not someone else's hand.
This has a bit to do with expectation as well. If your former employers weren't as "tough," because they gave you outs, or let you go home early, or didn't expect more, it's time to try harder.
In short, you need to kill it, and kill it every day. If you are unhappy because you're in over your head, swim UP. No matter how strong the current, you can be stronger, and that just might shift your nightmare back into a dream.
It's foolish to think the "dream" will be simple.
Do You Feel Undervalued? Maybe You Are. But Have You Done Anything About It?
Are you feeling frustrated because you ARE KILLING IT, and no one's noticing? First, realize that to make a company run well and effectively, everyone is going above and beyond; you're not the only one. You are supposed to be doing everything. (Or everything you can to be the best at your job.) If you're expecting heaps of praise, re-read question #1.
But if you're truly feeling undervalued and as a result are considering bouncing, ask for a meeting with your supervisor and express your frustrations. If you're bottling everything up, you may end up blowing what really is a dream. Have the convo before you opt out of a great opportunity.
Are You Just Being Sensitive?
Controversial word, sensitive. It implies that you're too emotional, and emotional in the workplace is usually directed at women. So how does one determine whether if they need a thicker skin, or it really is the job? One, no job should come at the expense of your health or well-being.
However, if you're crying at work, before you give up, run what you're feeling by someone else who can be objective (i.e. don't take this to your boss). Ask your business bestie's (if you don't have one, find one) advice, and actually listen to their input. If they say you're overreacting, take their word for it and give your dream job another shot.
Like any relationship, a healthy work relationship won't be perfect all the time.
Are You Unable to Read Your Boss' Mind?
BIG problem. As an employee you should be a psychic and ten steps ahead of your boss all the time. JK BABES. But part of being a good employee, and therefore a happy one, is anticipating what your boss wants. If you aren't great at doing so, find out how to get on your boss' good side.
This post was published on March 8, 2019, and has since been updated.
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