We love a lot of things about Busy Philipps but if we had to choose one it would be her completely unfiltered approach to life and work. Whether you follow her on social media (we’re obsessed with her Instagram stories) or watch her on screen, you can always guarantee she’ll be 100% authentically Busy—and we’re here for it. That’s why we were all ears, soaking up her pearls of realdom as our keynote speaker for the Aerie REALtreat event in L.A and Philipps dropped some major sage soundbites.

Keep reading to learn more about her "#nofilter thoughts on longevity, beauty standards, female friendships, and why she went public about her abortion.

Fireside Chat: Busy Philipps in conversation with Jaclyn Johnson about being confident and carefree.

Panelist:

Busy Philipps, Actress and Author

Moderator:

Jaclyn Johnson, CEO of Create + Cultivate

On longevity:

“For a lot of people in all different industries you can get tricked into thinking that there is one moment and that is the moment when you have arrived. But in the entertainment industry for most people it is a series of small moments that build up on one another. The secret is being able to see that.”

“People always say ‘life is so short, it’s a blip, it’ll be over in a second’ but life is so fucking long and it will wear you down if you are not prepared emotionally and mentally for longevity.”

“I’m in it for the long game I always thought that. While I wish that I had won an academy award at age 25 that is not part of the trajectory for me. It is really important to truly understand that your path, your journey to success is not the same as anyone sitting next to you. Even if on paper you are the same, you have fundamentally different life experiences to offer and your journey will be different.”

On collaboration over competition:

“Comparison is only going to waste your energy. The world is wide enough for all of us.”

“That is the patriarchy talking to all of us. I feel very lucky that I realized that feels wrong, that can’t be right. Competition kills creativity.”

On beauty standards:

“I’m conventionally very attractive but when I started out in Hollywood that’s not what I was told.”

“I didn’t fit in. I was always being told that I was too much—my personality was too big, my features were too big, I had too many moles, my body was too big. It was hard for me. It has wormed its way into my brain in a lot of different ways and I have worked to mitigate that damage from a young age.“

“We have all hit the threshold of no. I’m not standing for this anymore. But I can’t speak to what the experience is for someone new coming into this industry. I hope it’s better. I hope that people have learned that that behavior is not acceptable.”

“I’m in a position now where I don’t want to work for anyone else and because I’m the boss I’m able to control that completely and that’s awesome.”

On going public about her abortion:

“I am a little bit of a hippy in that things happen the way they are supposed to happen universally.”

“Diversity of all kinds makes a difference in media. Having a female voice in late night television is important especially when our country is dealing with a lot of issues that affect women.”

“It’s very freeing for women and men to say I’m not going to hold onto this anymore, I reject the shame.”

“I just want to do whatever I can do in my position and my platform to help other women in this country who need help.”

On female friendships:

“I think my girlfriends provide a soft landing space for me, always. I hope I do the same for them.”

“They (my girlfriends) have a lot of the same shared experiences in the world. We have a lot of the same feelings about things and we fundamentally can understand one another and what the other is going through. “

“I don’t ever look at anyone, I mean truly anyone’s success as my lack of. I just want to be able to support and lift up as many people that I love as I can.”

RAPID FIRE:

My favorite role I’ve ever played is… “I guess I would say that my favorite role model I’ve played so far is Busy Phillips.”

I’m never too busy to… “cuddle my kid’s little faces.”

When I look in the mirror, I think… “alright!”

Being real to me means… “being open to being wrong, being open to making mistakes, and being open to owning that you’re the fucking best.”